Have you ever been so scared you thought you might die of fright?

Or experienced any of the following symptoms of a Phobia?
(From=http://www.medicinenet.com/panic_disorder/article.htm#1whatare)
-“Racing or pounding heartbeat; chest pains; headache and feeling like there is a tight band around your head; sore eyes; dizziness; light headedness; nausea; difficulty breathing; a need to escape; stomach upset; a sense of feeling smothered; tingling or numbness in the hands; dreamlike sensations or perceptual distortions; terror: a sense that something unimaginably horrible is about to occur and one is powerless to prevent it;…. Usually combined with sensation called Panic Attack which typically lasts for several minutes, is one of the most distressing conditions that a person can experience, and its symptoms can closely mimic those of a heart attack. These attacks are a serious health problem in the U.S. At least 1.7% of adult Americans, or about 3 million people, will have panic attacks at some time in their lives, with the peak age at which people have their first panic attack (onset) being 15 to 19 years. Another fact about panic is that this symptom is strikingly different from other types of anxiety; panic attacks are so very sudden and often unexpected, appear to be unprovoked, and are often disabling.”

I have! I became aware of the cluster of symptoms in high school whenever I was asked to bring a food item to something, or was asked to cook for anyone other than my immediate family. I didn’t realize it at the time but I had the phobia of “fear of cooking for people.”

For example, when I was 16 I volunteered to host a group dinner date. From the time I volunteered to a few days after the event I had the above list of symptoms. Though I thought it would be fun to have 8 couples come to my home and have a fun dinner before going to the high school’s girl choice dance it made me sick. And I know my date did not have much fun with me. It was our one and only date.

Thankfully I did not experience the Phobia symptoms when I worked in Food Services. And I knew I wanted to marry my husband when I realized I was never uncomfortable cooking for him. The blessed relief of being able to cook for someone I was dating caused me to shower him with food gifts. And invite him over for meals frequently.

I found being a member of a socializing church, where the requests to take a meal to another family and to contribute to group dinners a frequent challenge and really stressful.
I had dreams of the woman I wanted to become. A fabulous hostess that cooked up feasts and created a loving welcoming atmosphere for her guests.

In 1987 I began more earnestly praying about my phobia. I wanted to get rid of it. I wished to no longer be a sick and miserable hostess.
I formulated a plan: I would invite someone over to eat in my kitchen once a month. The meal could be as simple as heated Campbell’s soup. Then I would have the guest sign my tablecloth, which would be a record of my completed goal. And I would pray fervently for the Lord to grant me courage. And I would display the table cloth where I could see it every day to remember I was going to conquer my phobia or die trying.

Soon after I wrote down my plan we received a phone call from a friend. “Could he come stay with us over the Christmas break.” My heart went into supersonic speed and I wanted to say no!!!! But he had let us live with him when we were homeless. And had been so nice and wonderful, that of course we said yes, and I became sick and very prayerful. I was sure his visit would certainly kill me. (I got through the week because thankfully he ate most of his meals while he was out sightseeing.)
His was the first signature on our table cloth. And three years later after much discomfort I realized I was “not dead yet” AND the phobia was completely gone, and I had signatures for every month of those three years.

It was after I was cured that I finally realized where the phobia had come from. It was “emotional transference” from traumatic childhood experiences.

Last year I retired my table cloth. And began a new one. I am thankful that My Lord inspired me with do-able goals to overcome a debilitating phobia. And I rejoice in the calmness and peace I feel each time we have guests over for dinner.